Starting a piece is sometimes always the easiest thing in the history of easiest things, but on the flip side it could be the hardest. Welcome to a writer’s world. Should I have used ‘author’ or ‘playwright’ in stead of ‘writer?’

dugen dugen.. the sound of a hearbeat, my heart beat.

In a world where we’re all exposed to gender identity crisis, and girl power is almost equivalent to feminism, and ‘wearing make up is for girls only’ these are the things that make a girl:

Thing One; The sound my straw makes when I drink Capri Sun.

I tried spelling out the sound, seems something like thsssph ttttssssss.

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Oh what a summer time drink that is never able to quench your thirst, the lifehack to this however is pouring the content in a cup. Science has proven that 90% of the people who read this will attempt to try it the next time they drink Capri Sun. Science has also proven that 87% of people believe statements that science has ‘proven.’

Thing Two; The hard time I get in trying to groom my natural hair.

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Ladiesssssssssssss, I say unto ye “take it one section at a time.” Hair grooming is tough both for natural hair and extensions; on different levels. Sometimes, you want it to be buzzcut season, other times you want to flip your hair in dismissal after you’ve closed your flipphone in dismissal, assuming it was years ago.

Thing Three; Buying overpriced items because they come with more glitter, sparkle and in pink.

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“All that glitters is not gold”. Yeah but I could pretend it is, and don’t speak to me with that poor grammar, talking ’bout plural using ‘is.’

Brethren, this is how the typical female mind snaps. The grammar is correct by the way.

Thing Four; Being able to choose food over people.

Sometimes it’s just the better option.

Thing Five; My birth certificate.

Just for the purpose of establishment and assurance, one ought to make reference to this paper that tells you who you are. So in a case of confusion, ask your local government chairman to direct you to where you can obtain a copy. buhahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Thing Six; Having to suffer for not being pregnant.

I stayed away from pregancy, why then must the Japanese declare themselves visitors in my life for a specific period of every month? waving their flag; making sure the red dot is so visible on the white backdrop.

who are we? women! what do we want? answers! and how about pregnancy over periods?*the women fled the scene*

Thing Seven; Buying more makeup when I already have enough to do a giveaway.

You can never have enough makeup.

Thing Eight; Never having what to wear.

I understand Caitlyn Jenner saying this was the hardest thing about being female. We all use hyperbole in minor circumstances.

But for real dawg, a girl’s closet always needs an upgrade.

Thing Nine; Being perceived as the second in command.

Even when we scream that we run the world whilst listening to your favourite female artist, this can be debated. There’s theory and then there’s practice. This is however not always a bad thing, maybe in a parallel universe we are all equal and then there’s another existing world problem that is greater and harder to combat. But in the spirit of girl power; I scream to you ‘EQUAL RIGHTS!’ …not really.

 

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Thing Ten; feel free to enter the comment box with thing ten.

 

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r.e

 

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